I have to thank you. You have done something great for me. Something that Happiness couldn’t do. Neither could Popularity. Not even Fun.
Loneliness, you brought me something I never expected: Joy.
You see, I used to be afraid of you. I thought you would ruin my life. I thought you would stick around forever.
But, I was wrong. You were actually the best thing for me. You are what made me see how much I need Jesus. Your pain made me run into His arms. The best place I could be.
Loneliness, because of you I now stand on the rock of Christ and I rest in the comfort of the Psalms.
Thank you, Loneliness. I’m so grateful for the person I’ve become from all the pain you put me through. I now have Joy, which is better than Fun and deeper than Happiness.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20
Sincerely,
Lauren
P.S. I’m fine if you don’t ever wanna come for another visit…but I’m sure I’ll see you again.
Ok, this is confession time. I have had an affair going on for years—not against my husband but against my Savior. And the only person it’s hurt has been me. It’s not an affair with a man; it’s an affair with something even more tempting.
Food.
Yep, this is embarrassing to admit, but I have struggled with this affair since I was about ten. I remember starting my first diet (consisting of trying not to eat the whole family size bag of M&M’s myself) around that time. By the time I hit high school I was committed to daily exercise and only eating 20 grams of fat a day (of course, fat free chips were free game). In college, after purposefully getting myself addicted to Diet Coke, I increased the exercising and graduated to Slim Fast. I was able to keep my weight down until my second child was born (when I was around 30) and since then the struggle has been more obvious (on my waistline).
I’ve realized, however, that the struggle isn’t truly with my weight. And it isn’t really with the rules of my diet. My struggle is with myself.
My biggest problem is that I don’t want to deny myself. I want what I want when I want it.
Ok, yes, I do believe that sugar and carbs are addictive and that I have an emotional connection to food. I know that I am an emotional eater, that I’ve established bad habits over the years and that I would feel much better to go gluten free. I know I get in the shame cycle of addiction and eat more when I feel hopeless because of the four pizza slices I ate last night.
These are all what I would say if someone told me this was their problem. I would “diagnose” them with so many typical eating issues.
But the real problem is my heart. I am a sinner saved by grace, and, while I don’t struggle with stealing or violent crime, I do struggle with saying “No” to myself. This is the age old struggle of humankind: the desire to be our own god. We want to control our lives without God, the “cosmic killjoy,” telling us what to do.
But Jesus tells us in His Word, “If anyone comes after me, let him deny himself and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) He goes on to say that if we want to save our lives we must lose our lives. This doesn’t really mean dying; it means giving up our selfish desires.
That is my problem. A daily struggle with giving up my desires minute by minute, for what God desires for me.
And we know what God desires for us is good. (If you doubt that read Psalm 34, Jeremiah 29:11 and Psalm 139.)
So, I would appreciate your prayers and comments if you are struggling with this too. Or with anything else pulling you from God’s best. We can fight this day by day with God’s Word in our hands.
Please feel free to contact me if you have a question, comment or need prayer! Lnewsom77@protonmail.com
This is something I’ve learned recently. In this crazy spring. (2020 we will not forget you.)
Fear is everywhere in America. Fear of a virus. Fear of being alone. Fear of not having enough food. Fear of losing a job. Fear of being judged. Fear of being shot. Fear of those people. Fear of that group. Fear of those who should protect us. Fear of people who look different from us. Fear of riots. Fear of economic depression. Fear of a growing divide in our country. Fear of rejection for who we are. Fear of government control. And the list goes on and on…
Fear is everywhere right now.
But, ya know what? We don’t have to give in to it. We don’t.
Fear is a choice. And we don’t have to choose it.
You see, fear is Satan’s trademark. It is his operating system. He wants it to be like the WiFi in your house: everywhere…you can’t see it, but any moment you can hook right up to it.
For most of my life, fear was like oxygen. I just breathed it in and out constantly. It was always with me, even when I wasn’t aware of it. Sometimes I would forget and feel happy, but wait a minute or two and that fog of fear would be around me again.
Reading my Bible and singing praise songs have the best affect on making that fog leave. However, two things that have really made a difference lately have been a book I read and a comment my pastor said.
The book is Fear is a Liar by Daniel B Lancaster. In his book, Lancaster refers to the verse “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18) He says that believers in Jesus can claim this verse , knowing that God is Love. We can either choose to walk in the path of love or the path of fear. Love is right there to keep us safe and free, but we so often ignore it and choose to walk in fear. From that moment on, I chose to walk on the path of love.
The comment that impacted me was when my pastor pointed out the other day that Jesus often said, “Take courage!” (Matthew 14:27, Mark 6:50, and so many more times.) My pastor, Steve Gaines, emphasized that we have to take courage. He said, “Take it! Pick it up! It’s right there for you to take!” It’s a choice.
Both of these instances made me realize I don’t have to sit there, overwhelmed in fear! I’m not a victim. I am a victor! I can choose the path of love! I can choose to “take courage” and trust the Lord! After all, He is faithful. He is sovereign. I have nothing to fear. My Father rules the universe!
Fear is a choice. Choose courage. Choose faith. Choose love.
I was flipping through my coloring Bible today and I came across the page where I had colored in a drawing of Psalms 118:24.
“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm118:24
We used to have to sing this song every week at the little Christian school I went to for grades 1-5. We got so tired of singing it over and over, and it seemed to mean nothing.
But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that this verse is not just a comforting truth (that God designed this day); it’s also a challenge.
It’s a challenge to us to see every day—with its good and bad parts—as a blessing appointed by God. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like a blessing—some days seem full of curses–but many bad times are blessings in disguise. God promises us that he works out all things for our good (see Romans 8:28); therefore, all our days are blessed days, whether or not we can see the blessing in it yet.
Would you join me in this?
The This is the Day Challenge!
I challenge you to post this verse somewhere you can see it each day and to either write down or post a picture of something you found to be a blessing that day! Something you found that was rejoicable! (Is that a word?)
Let’s see if we can make a difference in this broken world. Or at least in our attitudes.
As I sit in my new office—er, living room—reading about the effects of covid-19, I see something happening. Americans have had a big wake up call. Our comfy lifestyles have been uprooted. The busy-equals-important mindset is being tested. Americans are having to face themselves. We are having to be still, stay home, and breathe.
This sudden pause in “life as we know it” is hard, but it may actually be good for us. Suddenly, we are having to cut out what isn’t important. Instead of running to the store to pick up something on a whim, we’re having to stop and think about if we really need it or not. Instead of staying on the run, barely spending time at home, we are having to stay home with the people who really are the most important to us anyway. Up until now we have been so comfortable–we think we shouldn’t have to do anything unless it’s easy and shouldn’t have to wait for anything for more than a few minutes.
Life has changed. It may go back to “normal” soon, but it may not. Economists are predicting this temporary halt to life will bring a huge financial crisis. Life in the Western Hemisphere may not return to it’s easy state for a long time.
This catastrophe has forced us to look at our lives. What are we missing? Which parts of our former lives do we miss the most? Are we distraught without all of our social functions and our indulgent pleasures?
What our our lives built on?
This reminds me of a story about two houses on an island. One house was built on a cliff of rock. The house was traditional and plain, but the foundation was strong and secure. The second house had been built on the beach. The view was amazing, and the house drew lots of attention. The owner had tons of parties and everyone envied his lifestyle.
Well, a huge storm came to the island–bigger than any storm anyone on the island had ever witnessed. The wind and the rain beat on those houses with such force that the walls shook. The house on the cliff stood strong in the storm. However, the beautiful house on the beach was overcome by the rising tide, and eventually it crumbled into the sea.
This story comes from a story Jesus told in the Bible. In the book of Matthew, chapter 7 he said,
24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
The covid-19 crisis is causing us to realize what our lives are built on. Our lives are being shaken up like a storm. We are finally having to look at ourselves. What is most important to us? What is it about my life that I’ve had the hardest time giving up? What have I been the most anxious about during this time?
Our values are revealed by what we fear. It is normal to have some fear and anxiety, but if you are overwhelmingly afraid about not having money or about losing your fancy possessions or not getting to buy the next new smartphone, something is off.
Is the house of your life safe? Where have you built your foundation? Have you built your house on the rock? Or have you built your house on the sand? It’s easier to numb our problems with drinking, a new relationship, Netflix, etc., but the problems are still there. The crash is inevitable.
In chapter 71 of the book of Psalms it says, “for you {God} are my rock and my fortress…O Lord, you alone are my hope.” (verses 3 and 5) He is the only one who is true and dependable and loves us with an unending love. God is our Rock.
God’s got you. Pick up your shattered hopes and discard your fears. Start today and rebuild on the only real foundation. He will hold you up. He will get us through this storm.
If you have further questions about knowing God and finding your Rock, feel free to email me at lnewsom77@protonmail.com
thesearchforhappilyeverafter.com 